Melt
by X-Takoyaki-X
Summary: Kaito's having a bad day. Meiko banned him from eating ice-cream, the Kagamine's mushed his fallen cone into pulp, and Miku's not pleased. And that geek of a Master doesn't even care if one of his Vocaloids got diabetes. Oh, for the love of ice-cream...


**Based on AISU ga Meruto, a parody of Miku's Melt.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid. I never will. Not even when my body burns into ashes.**

**Warning: Kaito might be OOC, depending on how you depict him.**

* * *

He stared at the sign held up by a familiar leek.

**This is IceLand. Welcome, Kaito-san.**

His eyes were bulging out of his eye sockets. He gawked in wonder at castles and towers of choc-chip mint, caramel, strawberry and swirling vanilla perched on slender cones. There were also ice-creams of the most exotic flavours: wasabi, crab, horse, snake, and even shrimp. The young man scrutinised the variety of ice-cream, judging them by the shape, size and flavour description with critical eyes. Stopping upon a vanilla cone topped with hundreds and thousands, he reached his hand out. Why that flavour? Even the most simplest of flavours can radiate the best sensations.

However, once he touched the delicate treat, IceLand was plunged into darkness, leaving man and ice-cream facing each other alone. No faster did his surroundings disappeared, the cone floated away into the distance.

_NO! WAIT! ICE-CREAM! COME BACK!_

Kaito slowly stretched his arm out as he attempted to grasp the disappearing ice-cream. His azure hair and matching scarf billowed around him with melodramatic lethargy as if the whole scene was played in slow motion. After a few more lumbering leaps, he would be a hand's length away from his cherished prize...Just one more...

"Mornin', Kaito-nii!"

"Kaito-nii-san! Good morning!"  
"Kaito-nii-san! Good morning!"

"KAITO! GET YOUR ASS OFF YOUR BED, RIGHT NOW, OR YOU WILL FACE THE WRATH OF THE SUN WHO WILL TAKE GREAT PLEASURE IN MELTING YOUR ICE-CREAMS."

The young man gasped as his eyes shot open, then jolted upright on his bed. He stared at his sweaty palms; opening his fingers then closing them again to see if he really was back in reality. He sighed at the thought of his inability to catch the ice-cream, which still lingered in his mind; taunting and mocking his absolute failure.

_A dream..._

Rolling out of his bed, he grumbled in annoyance at the interrupters. After a few stretches and a satisfying crack of the knuckles, he headed out to the kitchen and opened the fridge. As he grabbed a circular container of vanilla ice-cream labelled 'KAITO', he stole a quick glance at a box piled with leeks, taped with a yellow piece of paper, which read 'Miku's leeks! Use when urgent.' Kaito smirked then closed the fridge door. He fetched a spoon, peeled the lid off, then popped a mouthful of ice-cream and smiled childishly, relishing the cool and sweet flavour which appeased to his taste. _So rich!_

Meiko entered the kitchen and gave the young man a frown of disapproval. "Kaito, you know ice-cream is not a good option for breakfast."

"It's okay. From this day on, I'm going to change my ice-cream routine, so don't worry!"

The Kagamine's walked in casually from their hiding place behind the kitchen doorway, followed by an unusually serious Miku, and all nodded in agreement. "Too much sugar will ruin your health," stated Rin in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Not to mention tooth decays," Len added for the pure fun of intimidating Kaito.

Miku nodded gravely, "And diabetes."

The blue-hair man pouted, "_Excuse_ me, but I had _always_ brushed my teeth which is always in a fantastic condition. So don't go jumping to conclusions."

Rolling her eyes, Meiko crossed her arms and leant back on the kitchen bench. She watched the ice-cream otaku chugging down the last spoonfuls of frozen treat before dropping the container in the bin. Kaito ventured to open the fridge yet again, but was stopped by a suspicious Meiko. "I thought you were going to change your routine?"

"I am," Kaito laughed nervously, "From this day on, I'm going to have more ice-cream! So it is a change in my routine. Quite a significant one actually..."

The other four occupants of the house shot him accusing glares. He shrank back then dashed out the door, leaving a plume of smoke behind, "Just going for a morning stroll! Will be back before lunch!"

While this was happening, a certain computer geek was minding his own business. Master was sitting contently on his computer with his glasses perched comfortably on his nose, oblivious to the situation that was going on downstairs. He clicked on his mouse and typed away on his keyboard, having nothing to care in the world...

OOO

Kaito approached an all-flavoured ice-cream stall with determined eyes glinting with the brightest of stars, and was greeted with an equally passionate-looking man.

Kaito directed his gaze at a chart listing the variety of flavours. He examined each picture and price thoughtfully then opened his mouth but was quickly interrupted.

"How about some eggplant ice-cream?"

The blue-hair man shook his head and was about to start again when he was cut off, _again_.

"Eggplant sorbet? Eggplant slushies?"

"No thanks. How about-"

"EGGPLANT GELATO?" The man was getting desperate.

"Uh...no-"

"Not even a SINGLE piece of EGGPLANT?"

"No...um, chocolate, strawberry, and caramel on one cone, and choc-chip mint, orange, and milk and cookies on another please," the customer spoke hastily.

The store-keeper heaved a disappointed sigh. He turned around to scoop ice-cream as his purple ponytail swished this way and that to imitate his movements. Once Kaito was served, he walked off briskly to spare himself from anymore eggplant talk.

Sauntering through the busy streets of the late morning, Kaito arrived upon a quiet park and sat himself comfortably on one of the park benches. He switched to romantic mode and stared fondly at the triple-cones.

"Who cares what they say," he whispered soothingly. "I'll promise, never to let go of you. I'll love you no matter what."

Kaito opened his mouth but froze as he caught a young girl gazing in his direction. The breeze played around with her fawn-coloured hair. A charming girl she was. The brunette, clad in a simple white knee-length dress and black jacket, drew closer and threw a quiet fit of giggles. She smiled sweetly, "Two ice-creams? Are you going to eat both of them?"

The young man blushed a little and stared guiltily at his beloved food. He offered one to the girl to show that he wasn't a binge-eater. He needs to retain his manly dignity after all.

"Oh, no...I don't mean-"

"It's alright. I guess...er...I don't wanna be fat," Kaito joked. His stomach, however, were screaming out in protest, _"NO! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? I __**NEED**__ MY FREQUENT INTAKE OF ICE-CREAM!"_

The poor digestive system was ignored. Kaito handed over the cone and smiled cheerily. "Enjoy!"

The girl beamed. Pleased that he had brought joy to a person, he waved goodbye. It was part of his everyday job to make people happy, with his singing and such. He turned around and took a step when he accidentally tripped over a rock and-

_SPLAT!_

Everything happened in a blink.

Now, one who had never dropped ice-cream would have regarded the situation rather humorous. Some would laugh their heads off, while the more sensible ones would endure the hysteria that would be threatening to burst forth. On the other hand, those who had a similar fateful experience should be feeling empathetic towards the man who is slowly, ever so slowly...tugging his hair in frustration and silently mouthing the words _"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" _in the utmost histrionic manner.

_How could you...?_ Kaito groaned silently to no one in particular. _Oh, how my heart ache! How could such wonderful ice-cream been dropped? _Tears swelled in his eyes as he saw an imaginary Rin and Len seated in a yellow roller, squashing the scoops of ice-cream into indescribable mush. Eyes closed, the Kagamine's drove away with innocent faces, mentally saying _"We didn't do anything!" _His heart further melted along with the remnants of ice-cream.

The girl watched with mesmerizing tranquillity at his exaggerated reaction. The azure-hair man straightened up and wiped away his unmanly tears. She sighed, then held her uneaten cone in front of his face, "Tough luck I guess. Here, you can have mine if you'd like."

Kaito shot her a fervent look. He drooled and gazed affectionately at the cone in the grasp of the girl's slender hand. Then, he frowned. _No, I can't!_

But the temptation was too great. _Too _great. He lashed his hand out, grabbed the ice-cream, and bit on the top scoop before the brunette decided to change her mind (which she had no intention in doing so). He bowed his head apologetically before sprinting home to avoid the feeling of shame that was hot on his trails, like any typical gentleman would *ahem*.

OOO

When he arrived home, Kaito ventured to the kitchen to check on his little darlings. Once he opened the fridge door, shock was slapped on his face.

_WHERE'S MY ICE-CREAM?_

He scoured the house and found Meiko and Miku out in the backyard hanging up the laundry, but to no avail, they shook their heads at the whereabouts of Kaito's ice-cream.

Running through the corridors, he heard two voices ringing in the living room.

"Jan, ken, PON! Jan, ken, PON! YAY! I WIN!"

Kaito rushed into the room to find Rin and Len playing their own childish game. It was not their game which infuriated the young man, but rather the empty containers that laid in between the siblings.

"And _who _gave you permission to eat _my _ice-cream?" the oldest of the three asked calmly with an air of authority and irritation.

The Kagamine's stared at him blankly and answered in unison, "Master."

Rin suddenly clicked her fingers as she remembered something, "Oh yeah, Kaito-nii...Master summons you."

"_IMMEDIATELY._ _Straight after _you come home," Len finished off with a smirk.

Kaito shuddered as he trudged upstairs to Master's room. The Vocaloids paid great respect to their creator, and his summoning are usually about rehearsing new songs or..._trouble._

He gave the door three reluctant raps before a voice answered within. "Come in."

Kaito closed the door behind him and stood stiffly. Master slowly swivelled on his chair and gazed impassively at his blue-hair Vocaloid.

"Kaito, you have been out eating ice-cream. Again."

The young man quickly brushed off the tell-tale crumbs off his mouth and smiled awkwardly. "Y-Yes...?"

Master abruptly jumped of his seat and clapped his hand in delight. "Well! What a coincidence! I just created a song for you relating to ice-cream! It's called AISU ga Meruto (My Ice-cream is melting)! I just want to say that you will be practising that song starting from next week! Look forward to it!"

As the conclusion for his short announcement, Master plopped down on his computer chair and twirled around to face the monotonous screen.

Kaito took this precious moment to ask a question. Whatever the answer will be, only time will tell.

"M-Master! Sorry to bother you, b-but Rin-imouto and Len-touto had eaten my ice-cream! Please, let me have some too!"

Master's face remained glued on the monitor, and his glasses flashed threateningly. Without looking back, he growled, "Kaito, if I allowed you to do that, I'm afraid that I will resolve to dragging you to the recycling bin..."

Master clicked on his pointer and slowly towed the KAITO unit across the screen, earning a panicked squeal from the blue-hair damsel in distress.

* * *

**Not a very exciting ending, but nevertheless, hope you guys enjoyed!**

**Eggplant ice-cream, anyone? :3**


End file.
